Ziggle!

Recovering from drug or alcohol abuse and addiction is more than just putting a stop to the use of substances.  Getting clean and sober is definitely the first step, but once that’s done, staying off can be the biggest challenge.

It’s not uncommon for people to turn to alcohol or drugs to handle the pressure of social engagements.  In fact, many recovering addicts express that this is what led them down the path of substance abuse in the first place.  Anxiety about performance, social skills or the opinions of others can cause people to turn to alcohol or drugs as a crutch to get them through the event.

Unfortunately, giving up drugs and alcohol does not mean a person can also give up all social interactions or high pressure situations.  It also means they will more than likely find themselves in a situation where they are being offered a glass of wine with dinner, a cocktail or some other substance they are trying to avoid.  The temptation to have just one drink to take the edge off can easily unravel all the work the person has put into getting sober.

There are some tips a person recovering from alcohol or drug abuse can use to relieve the pressure of social engagements, without falling into old habits and without having to confess their addiction to every person they meet.

Practice Saying No

If you’ve been invited to an event where you might be offered a drink, then practice your no phrases.  If possible get friends or family members to role play with you.  It doesn’t have to be a loud and belligerent NO!  In fact, a short, polite no thank-you is better.

Find an Alternative

The best way to avoid the offer of alcohol being pushed onto you is to immediately ask for something else.  For example, if someone offers a glass of wine and you politely say “No thank-you”, the host  may respond with “Are you sure?” or recite a list of alcoholic drinks you can choose from.  In social settings, the person offering you the drink is just trying to be polite and tend to you as a guest.

Taking control of this type of conversation will put both you and the host at ease.  Therefore, have an alternative in mind before you get there.  For example, if the host offers you a glass of wine, your response could be “No thank-you, but I’d love a cup of coffee”.  This relieves the pressure for you as a guest and for the host.

Practice Small Talk

Moving the conversation along will guide you away from the discomfort of being offered substances you are trying to avoid.  Again, having time to practice at home will build your confidence.  If you don’t have anyone to practice with, then by all means, talk to yourself in the mirror, in the shower or whenever you have a quiet moment to rehearse.

Small talk is a skill that many recovering alcohol and drug addicts seem to have lost.  Conversation with anyone is part talking and part listening.  If you’re feeling anxious or nervous, listening tends to be the easiest route.  Practice open ended questions that will prompt the other person to do most of the talking.  Where did you grow up?  How old are your children?  Where do you work?  How did you start working there?  Just a few moments of pleasant conversation can leave you feeling confident and greatly reduce stress and anxiety.  Remember to hold eye contact, nod and smile once in a while.